My College Roommate

My roomate in college came from a small Texas town of 5000 inhabitants.  He was born there, got baptized there, and received all of his sacraments there from the same pastor.  He graduated 2nd in his class of 40, all of whom he knew since Kindergarten.  And he was the only person on his school golf "team".

He came to the University to study Actuarial Science because he was always good at math.  He had 15 credit hours of Advanced Placement classes even before stepping foot on to the University ground...saving himself a whole semester worth of tuition.  He had a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan, a 20-year plan, and a 30-year plan.  I was sure he had a 40 and a 50-year plan too, but he hesitated to tell me for fear I might think him weird.

Everything in his plan was calculated for the lowest risk of failure and the highest probability of success.  His daily schedule was planned to the minutes, including bathroom breaks and snack time.  This is a kind of guy that would get upset if someone serves him steak instead of his usual tuna fish sandwich on Sunday.  If I were to ask him to try my Vietnamese egg rolls, he would respectfully declined.  He would still be happy for me that I could enjoy them, but he just couldn't accept them because they were not within his comfort zone.

It would be easy to classify my roommate as "inflexible" or "too rigid".  But after reflecting on my own preferences, maybe someone out there is looking at me and think I'm "too rigid and inflexible".

On a quest of being One with All, I often come across the question of tolerance.  What does it take to be considered as an "open-minded person"?  How far must I stretch the limits of my tolerance for beliefs that are not consistent with my own?  Should I attend a Christian church on Sunday, a Buddhist temple on Saturday, and a Muslim mosque on Friday before I can called myself "open-minded"?

As souls, I have no doubt that we can do many things our physical bodies can not.  But even with as great as the capacity of a soul is, I don't think we can adopt the preferences of everyone in the world and make them our own.  Not only would that be very hard to do, it would also be unnecessary.  It would be like forcing a stomach acid-producing cell to do the job of an eye retinal cell, or that of a nerve cell.  Although every cell in our body has the same set of DNA, each cell only expresses what is needed from that genetic blueprint for that particular body.   Our relationship with God is not unlike the cell's relationship with the whole organism, or the study of foot reflexology and auricular acupuncture to the study of whole body acupuncture.  Each is a microcosm reflecting the truth of its parent macrocosm, but each microcosm is inherently different from the next.

So whenever I come across a belief that challenges the limits of my tolerance, I remember the lesson I learned from my college roommate.  Although the world is rich in wonderful diversities, I can only accept what is inside my comfort zone.  

So Simple It's Scary

Life, from a certain point of view, can be extremely complicated.  Everyday, each of us has to juggle work, school, family, romance, kids, etc.  But in church today, Father Ezuma had a very simple message.  Just show up.

By simply being where we need to be, God will take care of all of the details.  It's no difference than doing a play, but this play requires no preparation from our part.  You just need to be at the right spot on stage.  God will give you all the directions and feed you all your lines.

Life can literally be this simple.  Enter from stage left.  Listen to God's directions.  When your lines are all done, exit stage right.  No worries, no planning, no expectations, no disappointments.  You just have to show up and listen.

The Measure of a Man...or Woman

What is "marriageable" material?  Status?  Money?  Education?  A nice 6-pack abdomen, perhaps?  The list can stretch quite far.  What seems to be more important nowadays is not what one has but what one hasn't.

What one shouldn't have is a "history".  Prior marriages, divorces, and kids are some of the big items.   They don't conform to the social norms.  And to be outside the social norms is to be a social pariah.  A beggar on the street corner must have done something wrong to deserve that fate.  A mother giving birth to a mentally retarded child must have been negligent somehow.  A deaf-mute must have been terrible in the a past life and karma is now coming back to haunt her.  Maybe...maybe not.

The funny thing about "social norms" is that when you are in it, you don't learn anything.  In terms of spiritual growth, to be outside the social norms is to be blessed with opportunities for growth.  What better lesson to learn about hunger and lack of shelter than to be homeless?  What better lesson to learn about compassion and unconditional love than to be blessed with a handicapped child?  And only the most resilient and intelligent of souls can break past the physical handicap of being a deaf-mute to go on and become a historical figure.

To live outside the social norms is never easy.  It is a life full of disapproving looks, criticisms, and harsh judgements...in the beginning.   But the funny thing about social norms is that what is considered "unacceptable" today usually become "acceptable" tomorrow.  And who makes them acceptable?  It is the people who live outside the social norms.  After all, that is why God had chosen these individuals in the first place.  Not only do they have to be strong enough to endure the fight, but eventually they also have to be the beacon for the rest of the world.

10/10/10

The entry of 11/11/11 prompted a reflection on 10/10/10.  My best friend was able to dig up an email that revealed what I did a year, a month, minus a day ago.

It so happened that it was the same day that we held a 50-day mass service for V.  All the siblings made an effort to be in Houston that weekend...including N., who up to this point had gotten 2 other messages addressed to me from God.  It also so happened that N. sat next to me during the service, which was perfect because when she got God's message during the service she only had to whisper in my ear what she had just heard.  And it also happened to be right at the moment that I was asking God how I should leave Dubai when N. whispered the answer to me.

I had two options: should I wait 16 months to honor my contract with the hospital in Dubai or should I make a run for it and skip out in the middle of the night?  I had thought about a third option, which was to let hospital administration know about my intention of leaving my contract early, but I had a feeling that they would intentionally block all my exits and make my exit as expensive as possible once they learn about my intention.  God put all of my concerns to rest with his answer.  He told me I would be home within 3 weeks.

In reality it took me 3 months to get out of Dubai, because it took that long to tie up all the loose ends before I can get on the plane without worries that Dubai passport control could stop me.  Every red mark that is on a person's financial statement, employment record, driving record, or parking record would show up on the computer at a desk of a Passport Control officer.  It is Dubai's unique way of controlling their ex-pat population.  All retribution must be made before an ex-pat can leave the country.

But like all of God's messages, it was exactly what I needed to hear at the moment that I heard it.  The 3-week deadline stoked a fire in me and lifted me partially out of my depression.  I needed a purpose and focus.  God was giving me baby-steps back on the road to recovery.

11/11/11

With a date like 11/11/11, there is no way that I will let it pass without blogging about it.  In fact, there is no way that I will let it pass without making it an event worthy of my long term memory.

There must be a lot of people with the same intentions as mine, because today was PERFECT!  The temperature, the sun, the trees, the lake, the soft breeze...all were, for a lack of a better word, PERFECT.  And we all know that weather is an emotional reflection of the collective psyche.  A smart woman I know said, "The fact that many people believe 11/11/11 is a special/lucky day will make it so...Why can't we all believe that everyday is a good day!"

While I was still kneeling with the ring in my hand, a man standing across the lake from us took our picture.  The picture captured the moment perfectly...as if he has waiting all morning for me to make my move.  He was of the same mind as mine.  He just knew what I was about to do and thought it would be nice to help me out by photographing us because there was only 2 of us and a tripod.

Ever since 2 weeks ago when Samantha challenged me to surprise her, I thought about how to propose to her whenever I had a chance to daydream.  I knew she does not care for "things", so going out to "buy something nice" would not work.  The other dilemma is that she didn't care much for tradition...including the tradition of an engagement ring.  And if she were to want one, she would not be able to show off her engagement ring like other brides because this marriage has to be hush-hushed until at least after her graduation.

Slowly the idea of the mandala began to form.  A mandala would remind us of our spiritual root.  A mandala using the chakra symbols would also accentuate our eastern philosophy about health and medicine.  It would be a labor of love instead of a swipe of a credit card.  And it would be an ideal way to display the ring in her room.

The 7 symbols of the 7 chakras were ideal elements to use in the repetitive patterns of the mandala.  The basic geometric shapes that make up the symbols also has their individual philosophical meaning.  The 7 colors of the chakras are also the same ones from the diffracted light spectrum normally seen in rainbows, which would make this mandala very pleasing to the eye.  But more than just being aesthetically pleasing, each color is emotionally charged and is associated with each specific chakra according to its type of energy.  In other words, this mandala will have layers upon layers of meaning...something that Samantha loves to explore.

No matter how certain a guy is of the girl's answer, he would be lying if he tells you he is not nervous before proposing.  No matter how many contingencies he prepares for, he always thinks there is something missing.  No matter how much time he spends preparing, he always feels he is rushed on the morning of the day of proposal.

To carry all of my stuff this morning, I found a LARGE duffel bag, the kind that US soldiers use for their 2-year tour in Iraq.  In the bag, I had my trumpet, sheet music, trumpet mouth piece and accessories, camera, tripod, picnic blanket, water, yogurt, the framed mandala, umbrella, towels, cell phone, charger, jacket, and extra clothes.  I made sure I carried the ring in my pants pocket.

The plan was simple enough.  Take pictures with a time-delayed camera on a tripod.  And when she stands on a right spot, switch the camera to video mode, and pretend to take a picture.  Then act like I just dropped something on the ground, kneel down to pick it up, and  stay kneeling while showing her the ring.  It was a good plan, but it could have been executed a lot "smoother" :D

November 11, 2011 will certainly be remembered for a very long time...not only for its unique numerical symmetry...but also for the day that Samantha says "yes".

The good stress?

After 2 weeks of preparing for exams, worrying about exams, and then actually taking those exams, my body is officially twisted in knots...or in TCM terms "stagnated Qi to the hilt".  But after the emptying of the hand yang ming organ this morning, I had observable evidence that my Qi is flowing again!

I took the last midterm exam last night, which explains why my Liver Qi is no longer stagnated.  But the "stress" of completing the mandala is still there.  It's been there for almost 2 weeks now.  Why isn't this stress causing Liver Qi stagnation?  Because this "stress" originates from the desire of my own creative soul.  It could be labeled as a "good stress" because this creative energy forces the body, mind, and soul to work together.

The more common form of stress puts us under a burden of compliance to an external demand.  We take tests to satisfy demands of teachers.  We work according to the rules of our employers.  We observe curfews according to the wishes of our parents.  All are demands from an external source.  All can potentially create an impression of obstructed freedom that lead to us being "stressed out".

Note:  This blog was actually completed on Nov 9th, 2011

Boomerang

Do you ever wonder about the path that you take to work or to school each day?  You might pass a particular street corner in the morning.  And it is unlikely that you would pass that same corner again until later that afternoon or that evening.  And if you do it is likely to be from the opposite direction.  Well today, I passed by the same corner 4 times...just to answer a prayer.

It started with seeing a panhandler who I've never seen before.  Without his "Hungry...please  help" sign, he could have passed for any corporate executive on a weekend drive in his baseball cap and polo shirt.  Some might even say that he's too well-nourished to be hungry...but the eyes gave him away.  There was no doubt that he was hungry.  I knew I had to give him something but hesitated a little too long because by the time I reached for my wallet the light had turned green.

I told myself, "I'll give him something when I see him again."  But it was a lie to justify my hesitation.  I might never see him again.

I had planned to study after dropping off Sam at the babysitter's, but there was a gnawing feeling that I needed to be home.  I suddenly realized I needed to wait in person at home for a delivery.  So I headed for home.

When I approached that same corner again, I knew God had just given me a second chance to make good on my promise.  During the first the u-turn, God told me to give him xx.xx amount.  Of course, when I looked in my wallet I had that exact amount.  Normally I never  know how much I have exactly in my wallet.

So why is this event worth blogging?  People give money to panhandlers all the time.  But it is a milestone for me because I think I could almost hear the prayers of this hungry man.  This is how God answers our prayers...by letting us hear prayers from one another.  God has answered many of my prayers through interventions from complete strangers...which never failed to amaze me and to bring me closer to the Him.  After all, isn't this what life is all about?