Does it ever gets easier?

If someone were to tell me two years ago that I would be going to school full time, taking 18 hours a semester, while taking care of Sam myself... I would have slapped him and told him to stop telling fairy tales!

But here I am...doing exactly that.  What's even more amazing to me is that in a few months I'm planning to move into a house far away from my mom, who had been a great help to me at taking care of Sam.  Sam and I will be completely on our own in a new house, with a new school district, new neighborhood, and new neighbors.  I would have been paralyzed with fear just thinking about something like that 2 years ago.

It seems ever since V.A. passed away, things had gotten "harder and harder" (by certain definitions).  The ride has been exhilarating to say the least, but it never got "easier".  As soon as I overcome one problem another presents itself.  My friend in HK is going through a particular difficult time right now...just after beating another life long challenge.

So...does life ever gets easier?  For me...no.  It will never gets easier because I had planned it that way.  How else can I overcome my fear and grow if it's easy  :D

Shhh....don't tell my mother.

When I was in college one of my vices was to sneak away to a theatre by myself.  It was a total pleasure being in the dark and having the director all to myself telling me his story.

It's a feeling that I try to recreate in everything I do now...whether it's washing the dishes or reading about magic; whether it's picking up Sam's toys after he had fallen asleep or making a powerful potion; whether it's staying up all night to cram for Herbology or stealing 30 minutes to watch an old rerun of Friends.

It doesn't matter what activity you have to do.  If it's done as a joyful secret, you will savor every minute of it.

Look at me, Ma!

While waiting for breakfast at Chik-Fil-A this morning, the hefty lady in front of me took two extra minutes to explain that she's getting breakfast for her employees because they would not think she's a good boss if she doesn't do it.  She ordered only two breakfast sandwiches.

A daughter helps her mom to obtain a large loan to fix up a tear-down while none of her siblings is willing to because the house had been declared as "totally infested with termite".  By entering this venture with her mom, she becomes the "only daughter that helps her mom".

A mom recites to her son her list of chores for the day and for the week.  She wants her son to know how busy she is and how dedicated she is to this family.

All of us do it.  All of us brightens up a bit when it happens to us...acknowledgement.  But how far would you go to get it?  Would you want it enough to prepare a meal, go into massive debt, or even lying to get it?

What is amazing is that all of the people above can have acknowledgement anytime they want and anywhere they need it.  They need only to look in the mirror and be satisfied of what they see.

Excess and Deficiency

Last night as I sat in front of the TV for my mom to cut my hair, I saw an ad for a massage chair that costs $10,999.00 on a local Vietnamese station.  It is essentially an over-sized Lazyboy that can squeeze your legs and your arms...something that you can do yourself with your own hands.  So I made a comment of how could anyone afford something that ridiculous for such an outrageous price.  And without a moment of hesitation, my mom said, "Trã góp." (which means "monthly payment" in Vietnamese).

Here lies the problem of most Americans.  It actually shocked me to hear her said that.  She would be the last person that I would expect to respond that way because she has no credit history and has always pay for everything in cash.  But the mentality of "living on credit" is so pervasive that even she knows how to get something that is unaffordable by simply paying for it over 60 months.

The problem of paying over time is that people think they can make something unaffordable into something affordable.  In reality if you can't afford it outright, you probably can't afford it ever.  If the price seems ridiculous as a whole amount, why would it be less ridiculous if you break it into 60 payments plus interest.

We American consumers have been brainwashed by the retailers for so long that we can't even believe the facts right in front of our noses.

Of course, my mom would never buy that massage chair for that price, but only because she has no interest in such a chair.  But if instead of chair for 11K and in its place is a new kitchen and dining room for 40K, she would not even blink twice before joining the rest of America to live beyond her means...which is exactly what she is doing at the moment.